No Love

Skipped from school today cause I'm not feeling well. Slept on 5 o clock in the morning and woke up at 9 o clock in the morning. Claps for me please!

Erhems, back to the topic!

I couldn't find anywhere or anyone to express my feeling recently. So, I choose to talking and crying to my bear bear in the midnight. I'll just woke up in the midnight, and crying for like maybe one or two hours. Until the moment I felt tired, and I fall asleep! I just need some fresh air to make my brain works! * my brain is blank! Honestly, I'm kinda stress to face all kind of problems! Although I couldn't have any respond from the bear, but at least I can talk whatever I like, scream as loud as I want, cry like nobody business. It's rather than get ignore by humans when I'm telling 'em how I feel! From the title on top, I think you guys could guess what I'm going to write.

I realize, I don't have any true friends in my life! When I'm facing problems, I'm sad or even I'm crying. I couldn't find anyone around me to accompany me on that time! I did accompany & gave advises, comfort & concern bout them whenever they need me. I just hope I could get the same things back to me! But too bad, things turned out like this. I have to face everything by myself! Feel like I'm so close with all my girlfriends right? Haha, it is just on the surface only! I'm being too naive to believe that they will by my side whenever I need them. It really doesn't matter anymore, I will keep everything by myself. I will never believe in what best friends forever or what anymore! All are just Bullshits! When they need you, they will come to you! This is so called BFF? Now only I know it. *smiles bitterly

I'm such a puppet to all of you! I'm fucking stupid I know.

Hmm. Perhaps, I had fall for you? I just want everything go back to past. Seriously, Baby, I miss the moment we're chatting and have a heart to heart convo. I never expect things will just end up like this.

The only thing I can do right now is just let everything flow naturally. I know, things will never flow smoothly, but I'll face it no matter how.

Sometimes you might seem strong for keep holding on,but it really takes much more strength to just let it go and move on.I might sound agressive at times,looking tough and strong like nothing in this world worries me much..

But deep down inside,i’m just a girl. A girl that isn't tough like how you thought!

Alright, I'm just nothing to all of you maybe. So, just leave me alone, Imma be okay!

I know, I have to be tough and face the problems from now onwards! There will never be anyone who is willing to stand by me whenever I'm sad. Is the time for me to make some changes! Friends, don't ever tell me that you understand how I feel! Stop to spread the rumors please! Don't let me know you're the one who spread the rumors around! When my heart is wrenched in pain, can you feel the same thing with me? When my tears is flowing non-stop, are you crying too? So, don't tell me you know how I feel.

Stop asking me whether I'm fine or not? Obviously, I'm not fine! This is not the way for you to concern bout me! I just need someone's shoulder at these time. But too bad, I can't find any of you. Don't need to apologize, I had seen everything clearly in my eyes. Perhaps, I should be selfish like all of you? Or just kick you all to a side when you're facing problems? Perhaps, perhaps I have to do so!

Take a break.

Can just give me a min? I only need a min to take a deep breathe! Now only I realize, what's the feeling when you're being alone in this dark & lonely world. Without family members, friends & everything that could make me feel that this world still not bad like how I thought! But no, except you, it is still yourself! Seriously, this kind of feeling is scary! I don't know I can still stand for how long. I wish, there's an angel appear in front of me right now. Ask me to make 3 wishes and she could help me to fulfill my wishes! How good is that??? I know, this is impossible to happen. Beside of dreaming, what else I can do?

Baby, perhaps I just need a hug from you. Even it is just a second, it is enough for me. * her tears is rolling down on her cheeks

No love,

Qping.